Tomorrow

I have my appointment with my Voc Rehab counselor, Miss Moss.

I have been totally depressed today. But I started out right. I went to church. So, that was a good thing. Before the service, a lady came and sat next to me, and told me her story. Then, she asked how I was doing. She also prayed for me. That part was uplifting. What got me down, is that my favorite pants ripped. It was really a downer moment for me, and made me sad.

So, what do I do when I am sad, and depressed? I turn to God. Thats the only thing that really uplifts me, back out of my depression. Sure, my medicine helps, but only when I take it. When I get this way, it is hard to come out of it. I guess it is also after the Holidays. There is still New Years, but my New Years plans are to stay in. I just finished Luke for Advent. I was a day late, and a dollar short, but I never gave up.

I have been trying to find a way to communicate about a Delima I am facing in my life. I need to move on. But, yet, I continue to want to meet. It is with a heavy heart that I have not been able to move on. Something keeps biting at me, to want to meet. I don’t know when, and I don’t know where. But I just get this strong feeling still of wanting to meet. Not for sex. But we could do something else. Sex to me, is disgusting. I have never indulged in sex, because of this. I am constrained by others from expressing how I truly feel. So, I just say it- I want to meet. People have antagonized me, and gaslighting me, so my response is, to want to meet.