To A New Year

So, let me begin by giving credit to another author. It was anewwriter3. They wrote an excellent post about the past year. So, I will try and do something similar here. I want to start by highlighting some of the things I did this year.

At the beginning of the year I was sick. I was living in my apartment in Everett, Washington, and had to go back to work. But I needed the money to pay rent, and to stay on top of my bills. To many sick days, and I would be out of my apartment! Or I might have to sacrifice my phone bill. Wouldn’t that be a crime? lol. But I made it into work.

I worked at Evergreen Goodwill. It was over on Casino Road, about a mile from my apartment. It was a nice place to work. Everybody was so nice to me, and uplifting, and positive. They did not even mind me smoking. We even celebrated Thanksgiving together! It was so much fun to work at Goodwill.

But- my money got mixed up. Somehow, I had $5000+ in my NAVY Fed. When I went to pull the money out, well the account went negative. I was thinking it would go to a zero balance. Instead I owed $3400. So, I panicked. I opened a Boeing Credit Union account. Which worked for a little while. But I was still able to pay rent at this time. It was so sad, that negative balance almost ate my savings. But I withdrew all my savings so I could deposit it into the Boeing Credit Union.

Johnny let me go do this, before I clocked in. I was so excited, and almost didn’t notice when he had me clocked in, and being paid, while I was at BECU. At BECU they granted me an account based on my “living in Washington State”. Even though I didn’t work at Boeing. How nice of them!

Jazmine advised me not to close my NAVY Federal account. So, I still have that. In the future I will use it again. But for now I use a different institution. So, I have peace of mind. It was probably just an error or something.

Then, what happened. Well, I got some lighting for my apartment. My friend, Stephanie, bought me an extra lamp for my living room. But it had a missing piece. She said I could get it from Fred Myer. But I never did. The lamp worked great! Ben helped with another lamp. But I ended up driving Ben, to take his cats to the vet.

I also passed my 90 day review at Goodwill, I remember. That was a big moment for me. The reason is, that I could not understand how come it took so long. I had been working longer than 90 days. Maybe they just wanted to give me a chance to try harder, because I missed some days by being sick. Everything was still going smooth, where I had plenty of money it seemed. But then, after my pay day, I realized my money for my disability would probably go to my NAVY Federal account and be lost! So, I knew I couldn’t pay rent.

This was in April. So, I ended up thinking of ways to pay rent without having a notice for eviction. If I had had a notice of eviction, I would have been able to go to the Human Resources to apply for rent assistance, as a Veteran living in Snohomish County. But my notice of eviction wouldn’t come till May, so that would mean I would owe June’s rent as well. So, I would garner two months of debt and not be able to pay my rent. So, I would run out of money eventually.

So, at the end of April I went and quit my job at Good will. I turned in my badge, and my vest. We had to wear a yellow/orange vest. I told Jazmine, in the presence of the Manager “I quit”. But that wasn’t after at least trying to apply for work at Boeing, and applying for Voc Rehab. But I got turned down for both of those.

When it came to my lease. I just talked to Jill. I asked how much it cost to break my lease. She said it was $1100+. I realized, it was pay rent, which I could no longer afford, or break my lease. So, I went with “Break my lease”. So, I hightailed it on the road! Let me share you pictures of my apartment.

That is a selfie in my bedroom. I had my head shaved.lol Don’t ask. She is very beautiful. She lives in Kentucky.

A picture of the view outside my apartment. Isn’t it lovely? That is Goodwill in the background. I like the way the sun was reflecting off the clouds. I didn’t see that very often, in Washington State. I see it a lot in Texas, however.

This is my whale friend. I found him at Goodwill, and couldn’t resist. He just laid there in my bed, and kept me company. He didn’t say much either. But- he was there.

Another selfie, me standing near the pantry. Thats where my table was, and I had those nice folding chairs too. I still use the pajamas. I miss the hoodie! It was purchased when I did a road trip from Virginia, to Texas.

Anyways, once I broke my lease, I packed everything I could fit into my car. I was surprised how much stuff I could fit. But I knew I had to drive over the mountains so I kept it light. I left my suit, too. I miss that suit. They helped me pick it out at the Goodwill store. I made sure to get any documents with my name, and address on it.

Then, that next morning, without a word to anyone, I began driving back to Texas! But first I made sure I had pressure in my tires before I left. I began to drive, and drive. I drove for two days straight. I stopped only for a bit of rest at certain lengths of the trip. I could not afford a motel room. I kept checking my Boeing account, hoping my disability had come in there, instead of into my NAVY Fed. Had that happened, I would have stopped at a Motel in Salt Lake City. I did end eating In and Out there. It was pretty good, and under $7 dollars!

Anyways, as I drove. I did not stop to look at anything. The route Google had me going, there was a lot to see. Because I went through Washington-> Oregon->Idaho->Utah->Colorado->New Mexico, and then into Texas. On to 287South. While I drove on 287, it was dark and cloudy. I didn’t want to keep driving, but I had too. It started pouring, and thunder, and lightning like you would not believe. Those truckers kept passing me by- but they didn’t understand. My car needed its oil changed, and I had been driving for two days.

So, I did my best to stay on the road. But At one point one of the trucks tried to pass me- and the wind shook up, right as he was about to go around me. But he ended up putting on his break a little bit, so I stayed ahead for about thirty minutes, thanks to that wind.

As I said, I would pull off the road to sleep once in a while. Well, it wasn’t really rest. It was just me, catching up a little bit, so I could then drive a bit further to the next resting place. It was nightmare, honestly, trying to get back. Because I knew I would miss Washington. That winter season as fun to me! I love a nice cool, wintry day. But you don’t get that here in Texas.

But things change. MY Dad ended up sending me $200 in a money order, to Albuquerque, New Mexico. Thanks to my Dad, and his generosity, I could still afford gas, and even to eat a little. I think my next restaurant was a Wendy’s too. I was starving by then. Or maybe it was Jack-in-the-Box. Either way, I ate pretty quick and got back on the road. I got to Texas right when it starts to get hot. When it came to the heat I knew I was going to die in the summer. But I resolved myself.

Well, I hope you enjoyed this blog post. I enjoyed writing it, expressing my feelings, and how I dealt with everything. I hope it was informative as well. Originally, I thought Google would take through good ol’ El Paso. But instead it took me back through Amarillo. So, i don’t know why it did that. Amarillo is nice too, but you know I was hoping to get onto I-20 from there. But as I was on 287S I had to ride out that storm as I was driving. So, it sucked. Given that I didn’t really want to return to Texas. But in the end, what did I achieve? I lived on my own, for eight months and proved to myself I could do it. Just next time, don’t accept unverified money into my account like that.

The Day after I got back, I ended up getting more money into my NAVY FED. So, I knew something was up again. I told my Dad, “Drive me to NAVY Fed right now, and I can pay you”. So, he di that. Dad and me, went to NAVY FED and while my account balance was at $7800, I withdrew my disability and gave my Dad his $200 back. He gave me a break on rent. So, I knew I could make it through the month. But now I had to find a job.

Anxiety

Well, I did find a job. At first, I went back to DefenseTex. But they had me stuck in some hell hole, messing with an app that was time sensitive and refused to work for me. Scott put in a call to a company called Ranger Guard, while we were at Captain D’s. He helped me get the job I have now, because when they called to Interview me, they were asking me what shift I wanted to work, and what was my uniform size. Fast forward a few months.

I was working the Golden West Food Group. It was almost time for me to clock out, and my relief was there. He was walking towards my car, so i turned down my music, and had to put out my cigarette, I felt like. So, I did. Then, a trucker walked up at the same time. He wanted me to sign something. I was going to do it, but I asked my relief, “Can we just sign this for them, and he can park?” My relief said, “No, he needs to go to the office to sign it” my anxiety kicked in major, because this same guy had told me a couple days earlier, to sign it and let them park. So, I was unable to smoke, and I had my music down, and I really felt my anxiety.

I guess I need a job, where I sign stuff. Because I was anxious that I could not sign, for the trucker. I honestly don’t know why the anxiety kicked in, but my guess is, that I was not able to help the trucker by signing his document, so he was disappointed and felt he had wasted his time. I turned on my music, and lit a smoke again, but it didn’t help. I still felt the anxiety for a while afterwards. I felt so helpless. Thank you for reading my blog!