It Is Raining

i went out to smoke, and it started raining. i was listening to Our God Is An Awesome God. i always think that the rain is a blessing from God on the earth. Whether it is or not, i don´t know. i just have faith that it is. You know, my therapist said i ought not to try and post to Stephanie on her facebook, so i won´t. i was going to try’ and post something that will catch her eye- and make her want to read what i am writing. Instead, i am writing for my Mom now.

My Mom said she enjoys reading my thoughts. i definitely enjoy writing them. Especially as i listen to music. i wonder what sort of things Mom would enjoy reading, that i could write. If i were taking classes i could write about that. i enjoy attending UTA, there veterans programs are the best. i learned so much from them.

i talked to BM1 Larson again on Messenger. She said she can do nothing while my Medical Board is active. But she did say i could be getting 100% from the VA. i would like that. i don´t make very much money as a security guard, right now. So, it would help me.

i was thinking of that family from Florida again. i was told, they are not a nice bunch of people. Does that matter to me? My Aunt told me i am not a nice person. So, maybe we are a match made in heaven.

My Dad told me i should start back to school. He said i should just focus on taking one, or two classes. i think just one at a time. Then, i will get more from them. i will get my GPA back up. i will finish my Bachelor´s degree. i cannot wait for Stephanie any longer. i had hoped to get her advice for a class. That would be so encouraging right now.

It is now a thunderstorm. So glad for the rain, and the storm. It is calming my anxiety a little bit. i am just listening. Writing too, of course. i just imagine that so many things are happening right now. Trump is under pressure from all sides. But he deserves to be President again. He has worked so hard, and the economy he left us with has proved resilient even in the face of shortages.

For lunch, i had Braums. i had chicken strips and French fries. My favorite. Dr. Pepper to drink. i didn´t have ice cream. Instead, i went to 711 and bought coffee. i also bought some cookies there. i smoked a cigarette, and then came home. Now i am listening to Interstellar soundtrack. With the thunderstorm in the background, it is so peaceful right now. Max is just laying on the bed snoozing away. He was watching the storm. Now Max is looking at me. i must have disturbed his rest. Maybe i will lay down for a while.

i have been getting a lot of friend requests on Facebook. From people i don´t know. Will this help or hurt? i never can tell, you know? My dental appointment is tomorrow. They called to remind me of my dentist appointment, and NOT about my insurance. This is a good sign, i think.

i still have not heard from Medical. i have called twice, and sent an e-mail. But no word back from Medical. They say No news is good news. So, i will just hurry up and wait. My Medical Board is taking so long. i could be drilling.

The thunder rolls, and i just keep writing. Today i talked to my therapist about something different. About going to have Starbucks with Elizabeth Rivers. i wanted to do that so bad, but never got too. i believe this was some of my anxiety the other night. i just had to write that. Because, well i guess i just forgot about it, but then remembered it when my therapist “role played” with me. How special that would have been. She is married now. i doubt she remembers me. All these different women in my life got married at the sametime. i don´t know why i think about these things. Perhaps- perhaps it is time to go up to Washington, and have a little coffee with the Rivers.

Oh, but this post was supposed to be about my Mom. How she has been so helpful during my time of trial with this Medical Board. With my blog. With everything. i love you Mom. Maybe we could have Starbucks. Maybe next time when Mom wants to go eat.

People are more and more backing Trump. People are waking up. They are seeing that he is under a witch hunt. Trump forced the evil ones to reveal themselves when he was elected. Now, that he is not in office, they are using there full power to strike back at Trump, and anyone who supports him. Still, there are many people who refuse to see it- that Trump is the real deal. Trump takes up the cause of the underdog, and this is what makes him such a great man to lead our country. They are doing everything they can to silence Trump voices, but it is back firing because every time they squeeze there hand of power, they lose. They don´t understand Trump like you and i do.

i thought i would share this. It came up in my feed, on YouTube. It follows me around, from time to time. Hopefully you will enjoy it.

As i said to my brother, i really don´t think people will understand about Stephanie. Nor will they understand about the Rivers. Maybe they will understand about the Rivers a little. But not really. Time to go have coffee with the Rivers.