My Passion For Writing

I want to write, but I don’t want to write what I am told to write. I struggle with this. I want to make a writing service though, so that involves writing what other people want me to write. I remember my desire to write, first began in Arlington, Washington. Later, with easy access to the Everett Public Library, that desire to write turned into a passion. It predates my desire to attend school. I still remember our computer being filled with countless “books” I was going to write. In the Navy I continued in writing as time allowed. I remember filling my notepads with my own writing sometimes. Give me something to write on, and eventually, I will fill it up. Now I want to take my passion and turn it into a career.

I want to write a book about my time in the Navy. I had many adventures worth writing about. Whether it was my struggle in basic training, or my delima about getting out of the Navy, or in between, my deployments on the USS Kitty Hawk, and USS Princeton. I think there is a lot to write about when it comes to the Navy.

I was blessed with a long memory. I can still remember standing in the yard at our old house in Parker County. I was looking up at the sky as yet another propplane flew over. I decided I wanted to see a jet. I can still see looking at the sky, as though it was a still scene from a movie. The sun was out that day, the sky blue, I wanted to see a jet instead of the propeller plane flying over. That very same year, in 1988 my family moved from Springtown in Parker County to Fort Worth Texas where we had the jets fly over from the base everyday. Also my Dad was training for his job at Boeing where he helped design jets. My Mom was teaching while he trained. I still remember Christmas that year. I remember going to a Christmas service at church and also getting two yellow peddle cars. One for me, and one for my brother David.

That was in 1988. That next year in 1989, my family moved to Washington on August 25, 1989 we pulled in to the drive way at a house in Everett. I still remember the driveup for instance as well. While my parents went up and finalized my Dad’s job at Boeing, my brother and I stayed at my grandmother’s house in Shreveport Louisiana. Which is where we left from on our road trip up to Washington State.

Scott is over here right now. He brought me an iced coffee from Starbucks. It certainly helped with the writing. I finished my writing on paper. Now I a putting into my blog. Scott being here certainly helps, he has a good heart. Scott works hard. He is talking to me about buying a Kia Soul. I want to buy one of those to drive.

Right now I am an unarmed security guard for DFW Security Protective Force. In 2002, in the spring my family moved back to Texas. Arlington, Texas. This is where my family has circulated ever since. Arlington is good living. But still my brother, David lives on the other side of Fort Worth. So, we are kind of spreading out in the area of North Texas. Since my family livedin Parker and Tarrant County I want to name my new blog, either “Living in North Texas” or “Live In North Texas”. My plan is to move to Everett Washington.

But yes, I really want to write a book about my adventures in the Navy. The time i spent in the Navy was 12 years. But Then, I joined the reserves hoping to go active duty. I still want to finish my service. I always imagined finishing my service and buying a home in Snohomish County, Washington. It seems like to much to ask, tohave a home in Everett. But since my siblings were born in Snohomish I figure one day they might want to go back.

Depression And Anxiety

I suffer from depression and anxiety. I imagine the depression started when I was young. I remember having dreams that made me depressed, or maybe they indicated depression. I really feel like I developed anxiety while in the Navy. I can prove it because I did not have anxiety when I was a kid. I did not act out for example. Not really. I did some prank phone calls where I gotthe police called on me. That was in 1996. During the summer was when I got the police called on me. They called my parents and threatened arrest. I never made prank phone calls like that again but I did still make some prank phone calls after that. I got into one fight as a kid which ironically happened to take place at the Everett Library. The Everett Library had this underground parking lot.

Steve came over. He was here to pickup Scott, but he came in for a little while. Steve works at Albertsons. Scott and me had just come back from picking up pizza and wings at Little Caesers. It was because of Scott that I got out for a little bit, in order to get the pizza.

Back to writing. When it comes to writing, I originally thought of writing a book or writing for the newspaper. I actually did manage to write an article for the newspaper in 2001. It was published, and I still remember reading it. Seeing “my article” in the newspaper was quite an accomplishment especially as a seventeen year-old still in high school. I even made a little money from my writing.

I plan to continue my job as a security guard. But will begin writing. I think this is an exciting idea. On this blog, Hot Off the Press, I write about all kinds of subjects. Computers, computer games, history, writing, politics, current events. So, I include as much as possible with each article. I really enjoy writing, it makes me feel like this is my calling. For now, instead of finishing school I will write. I just am not passionate about finishing school right now. I suppose I could apply, which I did, for re-admission but my GPA is so low, I cannot even qualify for a student loan. Like, don’t they just give those things out like candy? Apparently not, because they have a GPA requirement. Perhaps one day I will be invited back to finish school. Now, THAT would be something. Then, I would feel motivated. My studies are History and English. Though I wish it was History and Geography. I feel like these two match each other so well. But after I finish my Bachelor’s degree, I want to continue on for a Masters degree in writing. This will help me to grow in the History department as well.

I think one reason I struggle with school. Because I always imagined attending University of Washington up in Seattle. Never in my life did I imagine that I was going to attend UT. But now I am. University of Texas at Arlington. I suppose that is the lench pen for doing a blog called “Living in Dallas-Fort Worth” whereas I want to name it “Living in North Texas” or “Live In North Texas”. After earning my Associates degree at Tarrant County College, it took years of hard work and study to complete that. I figure it will take years of hard work and study to finish my Bachelor’s degree. Still more to finish a Masters degree. For a while I had thought about teaching. I think teaching is undervalued work. But my Mom is a teacher so I think that would make it easier to get into teaching. There are just so many things my Mom has to do for teaching. It involves lots of hours, thats for sure.

As far as the depression and anxiety go, sometimes I hardly notice them. Other times they are front and center. I never have been settled on the idea of living in North Texas so I think writing about it will help me to figure out a way to keep doing it for now. My sanity requires it.

While at UTA when it came to writing I took an American literature class, where we went over the more modern writers of today, but constrasted them with earlier American writers such as David Henry Threau and so it was a very eye opening class. I saw myself having many things in common with the writers. Some of them even drank lots of coffee and smoked which is something I do. So, I didn’t feel out of place. Studying that class made me feel like I fit in. I liked it. Another class which helped me to feel like I fit in was Images of the Southwest basically a class on maps and map images. You would be surprised how many images are actually maps. Or can function as a map. Some maps, I just had to accept, I was looking at them upside down.

But all in all. I think I miss Washington State the most, these days. The fall season was especially something my family looked forward too. I can still remember how one day, it had been summer, and all of a sudden I felt this sort of change. It was fall, even though it was not September 21 in Washington, on that day, it had turned from Summer to Fall.

A big part of my story is God providing. I can still remember how while living in Springtown, my family attended church in Weatherford. I remember eating donuts there, and also Sunday school. I also remember some pageant we did there. Though I cannot remember where the church is, I just remember seeing the steeple, from the road, once. Even back then, the metroplex was growing. Now, it is really growing, with lots of traffic. They need a metro system, some kind of transit, so we can get around without cars. I really am a nervous wreck trying to drive. I remember right before I left San Diego I ended up using the bus/trolley system they had, instead of driving. Heck I even walked to work some days. It was nice. Here in Texas walking is not as productive. Everything is spread out, the roads are all big, and this makes them unsafe to walk along. Some roads don’t have a side walk. How can they expect us not to use cars if our roads are all built- for cars. Yet, no transit is provided. A metro transit system would go a long ways in North Texas.

But anyways, every place we lived we went to church. Including in Arlington Washington, but we always drove a long ways to church. I suppose had we been more familiar with the bus, we would not have had to drive. We could have taken the bus. At least having the option is nice. I remember taking the bus in Washington too. It worked fine, no complaints always got me where I was trying to go.

In the meantime, I finished my iced coffee. Scott went home, so I suppose I have written enough. Scott said he will be back over tomorrow. I hope to see him again soon. Maybe he will bring Steve over. Well, That’s enough writing for now.